Often at times you hear one partner telling the other to give them a break or space or distance because they are not happy with them. People set rules such as ‘don’t come to my house’, ‘don’t call me’, etc. What will happen when the tongue asks for a break from the teeth because of a bite? Only children act like that. Marriage is for the matured man and woman and not boys and girls.
There is nothing like a break or space or distance in marriage, in fact it is one of the most difficult but intriguing jobs on earth. A work that has no vacation or mid-terms. Even when you are mad at your spouse, you are expected to value your union over the conflict. You are expected to get back home to your family after work, perform your duties, continue to love and respect your spouse.
It is normal for you to stay quiet when the one you love hurts you. It simply means if your love wasn’t enough, your words might not matter but that doesn’t mean you should go on a break. You never leave them. Your stay means, we may fight but I am not ready to sacrifice the union we have.
Many are those who are quick to ask for a break, so they can embark on a search for part-time lovers; and when they don’t get what they want, they return to you. But when they succeed, they either ignore you, care less about you or lead you on.
Such people are not those you can plan your future with. As far as there is sunshine, there is rain; plants need both to grow. For any relationship to grow stronger, conflict is necessary; it points out your differences, what you need to learn and what you need to work on to be able to become one. Those who run away from conflicts are the very people who are not ready to learn or work on themselves in order to be one with you.
Planning your future with such a person is so dangerous, they will leave you in the middle of the road, they will fail you at the time you need them most, they will abandon you at the moment you need a friend to hold on.
As human as we are, as wicked we are, as sinful as our nature is, our God does not leave us. The bible says in Hebrews 13:5 (NIV) “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you”. All because of His love for us. It is therefore an error for one to neglect the spouse, or let them be alone because of issues they are confronted with.
You are not soft or a fool if you decide to stay, it only means you have a beautiful heart. You know what your partner did to hurt you yet you forgive and stay with them. Your partner grows to love you and he or she is safe with you.
To know someone truly loves you, it is in bad times and not in good times; a small fight or misunderstanding can show you how much your spouse feels about you. If you care to know, spouses check their phones for the calls of their partners more frequently when they have misunderstandings than the days when things are going well for them in the relationship.
Singles ought to know, marriage is not cheap, it’s not easy; it’s expensive, it’s hard work, it’s facing challenges and overcoming them; it’s not about looking for an easy route to escape. Marriage has no windows. If he or she is asking for a break, then you better quit the relationship before it leads to marriage.
In conclusion “Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives. Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ” – Ephesians 4:31-32 (TLB).
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Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.